Your energy field is so pale, it is difficult to read. This in itself can account for your “not enough” feelings and longing for what other’s seem to have. Your absence of energy makes it extremely difficult to manifest or conjure up anything that is your very own perception of what you might need or want to create. The source of the solution is receiving and holding more energy in your system before you can move into a productive creation cycle.
The most useful answer for you is two fold: One, please stop judging yourself as being jealous. You are inaccurately naming the experience. You are purely using the pictures of what other people have as a template to attempt to make a life you would enjoy. This is not jealousy. Jealousy takes a LOT of energy! So, be kind to yourself. Do not waste your precious energy labeling and feeling bad about yourself. Secondly, your ancestry isn’t high on the initial life energy. This means you are geared to be more laid back, Type B person with an easy way about you. Your personal pattern has (something) very pale in the background that is depleting your storehouse on a regular basis. This is not an entity or parasite. It is more like an old shame-yours or a family problem ( perhaps drugs?) that needs to be resolved to free you from the drain.
Ideally you will start a long term relationship with a practitioner who is gentle, loving and filled with joyful transmitters that will fill you up regularly. Give it at least six months. You are really tired. You will then start to “hold” your own and have enough energy to see, identify and resolve the family shame pattern(s).
You are being held in Divine Light as you unwind around this. Please see that and feel that Love. You are a gentle Soul and without your Light there is a hole in our Universal pattern. Take care of yourself. We need you. Accept our Blessings to you. Go to the Centered Wellness website for practitioner referrals. Trust your instincts.